the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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