Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
