Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
