listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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