Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
