names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
