big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
