when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I cut my penus on the lid.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Randomize
