Your tits are I can't wait for
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
