I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
