I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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