god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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