either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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