I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
