I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
