i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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