Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just puked most of my soul out..
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