i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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