she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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