Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
