i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
