All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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