There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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