i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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