If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
