i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
