I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
