what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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