Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
