her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
