My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize