Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
