At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
