Is it normal to miss your booty call?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
