Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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