He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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