At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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