he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
