I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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