so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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