dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My vagina is very pro this idea
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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