So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
