I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
