I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
