I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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