Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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