I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I bet he comes in French.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
