JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
