I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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