I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
