Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
