I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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