im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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