i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
