I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
