Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
