you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
