You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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