Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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