It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
