Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
