I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My life is pants optional.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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