How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
