By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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