been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize