Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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