If that was your dad, he is hot
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
