Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You made out with two different species that night
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
