party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it's not cheating when I paid for it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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