Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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