No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
