Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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